When Life Changes Part 1: Garner the Support You Need!

4 Ducks in pool March 2015Whether you like it or not…Life is always changing! Right when I think I’ve got things figured out, it changes. Can you relate?

The picture to the left is of 4 male ducks swimming in our pool. They and their lady friends come this time every year…and I’m always struck by how they hang out together and support one another as they are constantly dealing with change.

Changes can come in lots of areas:

~ Relationships
~ Finances
~ Living Situation
~ Health
~ Work
~ Dreams realized or not
~ Unexpected circumstances
~ Birth, New Marriage, Dating, Death, Divorce, Separation, Estrangement
~ Disappointments in people, organizations, churches, areas you thought would
be a certain way
~ Moving, Relocating
~ Loss of support, etc…

Notice the Commonalities…all the above have stress, change, and require us to adapt and process through the logistics as well as the emotions of these changing situations. They also require us to interact with others who are also affected by these changes. Changes can be positive and desired, or negative and unwanted…or somewhere in the middle.

Getting support to navigate what you are going through is essential, and will make going through this process a little easier and take the edge off.

Garner the Support You Need – You aren’t meant to go through whatever you are going through alone. You aren’t supposed to know how to do this. Change implies this stressful situation is new and unknown. Sometimes we expect ourselves to know and be good at processing through a stressful situation we’ve never been through before. This includes joyous occasions as well…new baby, new marriage, new job, etc. For example, even if you’ve had a child before, you haven’t had THIS child.

“Support” looks different for everyone. Give yourself permission to do support in the ways that work for you. Here are a few possibilities that might help:

~ Get information (book, online searches, getting information from others)

~ Time alone to process while journaling, praying, walking, resting, etc.

~ Talking with others who have gone through what you are going through. It can
really help to share your thoughts, feelings, questions, and receive empathy
and understanding (from friends, family, support group, minister, counselor)

~ Seeking comfort and hope from Scripture, prayers, music, etc.

~ Giving yourself support through self-compassionate statements and self-care.

Click the arrow below for a short self-compassionate message (56 seconds) you can say to yourself.

I hope this helps you to think about the challenging and changing situations you find yourself in, and how you might garner the support you need. Here are some questions for you to ask yourself.

What jumped out for me in what Kim shared above? What kind of support do I need? What is one supportive thing I could do for myself this week? How has pulling in additional support helped me get through challenging times?

In addition, I’d love you to share any comments, questions, or additional helpful ideas below that you’d like to share with our developing community.

Next time…I’ll share When Life Changes Part 2: Be Kind and Compassionate with Yourself!

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2 thoughts on “When Life Changes Part 1: Garner the Support You Need!

  1. Your words are always so affirming, Kim. I’ve noticed how much easier it is to adjust to uninvited changes when I’m a good friend to myself and am true to myself and my needs. I especially appreciated your words, “Give yourself permission to do support in ways that work for you…”
    Thank you.

    1. Hi Roberta! So glad this post was helpful. I love your comment, “I’ve noticed how much easier it is to adjust to uninvited changes when I’m a good friend to myself and am true to myself and my needs.” Beautiful!

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