Secrets to Getting Through Tough Times – Be Compassionate with Yourself

http://kimfredrickson.com/2015/05/06/secrets-to-getting-through-tough-times-part-3-be-compassionate-with-yourself/

Life is full of difficulties and times of crisis

When our world has been thrown upside down we need to take special care of ourselves as well as be an advocate for ourselves. Some of the difficult experiences of life can’t be changed, but how we treat ourselves and care for ourselves while we are going through them can make a huge positive difference. Being compassionate with yourself honors what you are going through. Sometimes these crises enter our lives through the hand of someone else, as a result of our own decisions, or through no one’s doing.

Regardless of the origin of the crisis, being a compassionate and supportive friend to oneself in the midst is critical.

Difficult times have layers. Just when you’ve handled one aspect, two more come behind. This bring a myriad of feelings, unknowns, confusion, and often self-doubt. On top of it all, often the crisis is something we’ve never been through before and have no expertise with.

Approaching yourself with compassion when going through the incredible challenges of life is healthy, calming, and will help you get through this tough time a little easier.

Self-compassion also helps in these situations because it builds resilience as we learn to be kind to ourselves and adapt to life-changing and stressful situations. Here are some ways to be compassionate with yourself during tough and stressful times. Pay careful attention to the areas that speak to you. We are all different, and certain ways will fit for some, but not for others.

Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion

No matter what the source of this tough time, you deserve kindness and compassion. Talk to yourself as a compassionate friend, not a mean bully.

Get support

We need each other. We all go through tough times. Our lives rarely turn out the ways we thought, and throughout these moments God sends His grace, comfort and compassion – often through the touch of others. When in crisis, be compassionate to yourself and rally the troupes to support you.

Do what you can do, and leave the rest

During tough times you need to prioritize. Only do what is absolutely necessary. You need time and space to take care of yourself. Leave the rest in God’s hands. You can’t do everything , so let some things go for now.

Take care of yourself

Even though it can be a challenge, make it a priority to take care of yourself. When we don’t care for ourselves in crises our system breaks down and we end up in even worse shape. The reality is that unexpected tough times are a normal part of life, and coming up with strategies to care for ourselves in the midst of them are essential.

Reflect on what has helped you through crises in the past – Take a moment to focus on what kind of strategies and resources have helped in the past. This is helpful because often what has worked before will work again.

Questions to Ponder…

~ Who do I have in my life now, either in person or from afar, that could be a safe support to me?

~ How can I be a support to myself now?

~ What coping skills do I already have? (examples: reading, writing, moving my body, eating healthy, reaching out to others for support, perseverance, my faith)

~ What type of professional, community, or faith resources could I pull in to give myself additional support? This could be spiritual help, professional counseling, self-help and support groups, men’s and women’s care groups, etc.

~ Where did I find help from my faith in the past? What types of spiritual input brings me comfort and soothing? This can come from lots of places: Scripture, prayer, walking in nature, music, daily devotionals delivered by e-mail, comforting verses texted to you by friends, etc.

I hope these thoughts help you turn toward yourself with compassion and grace during whatever tough time you are going through. Please forward to a friend you know could use this support, or share on social media.

Comments Please!!!

I’d love you to share any comments, questions, or additional helpful ideas below that you’d like to share with our developing community.

If you’d like to get my weekly blog posts delivered to your inbox you can sign up here

2 thoughts on “Secrets to Getting Through Tough Times – Be Compassionate with Yourself

  1. Your posts over the past couple years have helped me better understand that “difficult times have layers…” It’s less scary for me to face a “mryriad of emotions” when I hear you say how normal it is. Thank you, Kim. I’m reminding myself when things are hard to go easy on myself. And, yes, it does make a difference. I’m getting better at reminding myself to stop and consider the way I talk to myself and who I will allow in to share my suffering and support me in my struggles. I’ve also been able to encourage others with what I’m learning that I know works. It takes practice to change old habits but gradually it’s becoming more comfortable and natural for me to notice what’s going on inside. I’m becoming a better friend to myself and even learning to ask for what I need.

    1. Dear Roberta, Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad that my posts combined with all your hard work has made a difference in your life. I’m so encouraged and blessed to hear that! How lovely that you are sharing what you are learning with others 🙂 Many Blessings to you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.