Welcome! I’m Starting a Series Today Entitled: Pursuing Healthy Relationships…With God, Yourself and Others.
I’ll be covering four important components of what it takes to have emotionally healthy relationships, and then apply what we learn to our relationships with God, ourselves and others. I’ll also be sharing even more information during my every other week facebook live videos. Click here if you’d like to check out ones you missed. Each principle will be several blog posts. Here’s the overview of what I’ll be covering:
To Have Healthy Relationships You Need To:
Principle 1: Have a compassionate relationship with yourself
Principle 2: Learn how to be emotionally connected to others
Principle 3: Develop balanced boundaries with yourself and others
Principle 4: Learn how to replace shame with grace
These are such important topics. We all want to have healthier and satisfying relationships. As we learn to be more balanced ourselves, we will choose healthier people to be in relationship with. Part of our learning will be to understand where we need to grow, how we got there, and develop skills to deepen our relationships with God, others and ourselves.
Let’s Get Started!
To have healthy relationships, you need to have a compassionate relationship with yourself. This includes having a clear idea of who you are as a person. It also means treating yourself with compassion as you realize how you formed your view of yourself. When you have a strong relationships with yourself you learn how to be a good friend to yourself…to be for you, not against you.
So First, What Does it Mean to Have a Strong Sense of Yourself?
Those who know and accept themselves, warts and all:
- know what they like/don’t like
- are able to hang on to their values, beliefs and desires even if someone disagrees with them
- are aware of what’s important to them in life
- have a belief that they can accomplish what they want to in life
- have a sense of personal power
- find satisfaction from living out their dreams and goals, rather than from only helping others live out theirs
- stay emotionally grounded, even when someone they care about is upset with them
- self-soothe their own anxiety rather than use substances, addictions or the approval of others to lower their anxiety
- are able to tolerate discomfort and pain in order to grow
- have the ability to put their desires and insights into action, not just remain “something I should do”
- are able to delay gratification to accomplish long term goals
- maintain personal integrity (actions and personal values are congruent)
- are able to treat themselves with the care, compassion and forgiveness they give others
Don’t worry, you don’t have to have all of these! Most of these take a lifetime to develop. What’s important is to never stop learning and growing. As you do, you’ll have deeper relationships with God, yourself and others. Look at this list and pick one you’d like to work on. This is not the list for this year…this is the list for a lifetime of growth.
In Contrast, If You Don’t Feel as Solid on the Inside, You May Struggle With:
- knowing and asking for what you want
- talking to yourself with forgiveness and compassion when you mess up
- valuing your goals and dreams as much you do others
- feeling distressed when others are unhappy with you
- holding firm on your desires and goals in order to not risk disapproval or rejection
- feeling that you have worth and value
- putting your foot down regarding pressure or mistreatment from others
- taking time for yourself to pursue interests, hobbies and self-care
Don’t worry if you struggle with having a strong sense of yourself. This is true for most people. The good news is that it is something you can learn, and you don’t have to do this alone. Congratulation for taking this journey with me and the rest of our community. You’ll learn how to interact with yourself with grace and truth, discover compassionate ways to care for and soothe yourself, and find compassionate words to speak to yourself.
As you grow, you’ll naturally deepen your relationship not only with yourself, but with God and others too. This blog, and the following questions will help you learn about yourself and come up with gentle ways to grow. I’ll be sharing even more information and examples every other week on a video via facebook live, and will post the videos on this website in case you missed them.
Here’s some questions to get you started:
What was your reaction when you saw the title of the series I’m starting, “Pursuing Healthy Relationships…with God, Yourself and others? How have you seen your sense of self grow over the last 5 years? What are you looking forward to the most in this series? What jumped out to you in this blog post?
I’d love to have you join me on Friday Jan 27th, at 1:00pm pacific time on by visiting my facebook page. I’ll be talking about establishing a solid sense of self, as well as providing insight into how we formed our view of ourselves to begin with. Mixed throughout will be ways to reconnect to yourself with compassion.
Please leave your comments below, and share via e-mail or social media with those who could benefit.