Pursuing Healthy Relationships #1 ~ A Strong Sense of Self

Welcome! I’m Starting a Series Today Entitled: Pursuing Healthy Relationships…With God, Yourself and Others.

http://kimfredrickson.com.s217696.gridserver.com/2017/01/17/pursuing-healthy-relationships-1-a-strong-sense-of-self/

I’ll be covering four important components of what it takes to have emotionally healthy relationships, and then apply what we learn to our relationships with God, ourselves and others.  I’ll also be sharing even more information during my every other week facebook live videos. Click here if you’d like to check out ones you missed. Each principle will be several blog posts. Here’s the overview of what I’ll be covering:

To Have Healthy Relationships You Need To:

 

Principle 1:   Have a compassionate relationship with yourself

Principle 2:   Learn how to be emotionally connected to others

Principle 3:   Develop balanced boundaries with yourself and others

Principle 4:  Learn how to replace shame with grace

These are such important topics. We all want to have healthier and satisfying relationships. As we learn to be more balanced ourselves, we will choose healthier people to be in relationship with. Part of our learning will be to understand where we need to grow, how we got there, and develop skills to deepen our relationships with God, others and ourselves.

Let’s Get Started!

To have healthy relationships, you need to have a compassionate relationship with yourself. This includes having a clear idea of who you are as a person. It also means treating yourself with compassion as you realize how you formed your view of yourself. When you have a strong relationships with yourself you learn how to be a good friend to yourself…to be for you, not against you.

So First, What Does it Mean to  Have a Strong Sense of Yourself?

Those who know and accept themselves, warts and all:

  • know what they like/don’t like
  • are able to hang on to their values, beliefs and desires even if someone disagrees with them
  • are aware of what’s important to them in life
  • have a belief that they can accomplish what they want to in life
  • have a sense of personal power
  • find satisfaction from living out their dreams and goals, rather than from only helping others live out theirs
  • stay emotionally grounded, even when someone they care about is upset with them
  • self-soothe their own anxiety rather than use substances, addictions or the approval of others to lower their anxiety
  • are able to tolerate discomfort and pain in order to grow
  • have the ability to put their desires and insights into action, not just remain “something I should do”
  • are able to delay gratification to accomplish long term goals
  • maintain personal integrity (actions and personal values are congruent)
  • are able to treat themselves with the care, compassion and forgiveness they give others

Don’t worry, you don’t have to have all of these! Most of these take a lifetime to develop. What’s important is to never stop learning and growing. As you do, you’ll have deeper relationships with God, yourself and others. Look at this list and pick one you’d like to work on. This is not the list for this year…this is the list for a lifetime of growth.

In Contrast, If You Don’t Feel as Solid on the Inside, You May Struggle With:

  • knowing and asking for what you want
  • talking to yourself with forgiveness and compassion when you mess up
  • valuing your goals and dreams as much you do others
  • feeling distressed when others are unhappy with you
  • holding firm on your desires and goals in order to not risk disapproval or rejection
  • feeling that you have worth and value
  • putting your foot down regarding pressure or mistreatment from others
  • taking time for yourself to pursue interests, hobbies and self-care

Don’t worry if you struggle with having a strong sense of yourself. This is true for most people. The good news is that it is something you can learn, and you don’t have to do this alone. Congratulation for taking this journey with me and the rest of our community. You’ll learn how to interact with yourself with grace and truth, discover compassionate ways to care for and soothe yourself, and find compassionate words to speak to yourself.

As you grow, you’ll naturally deepen your relationship not only with yourself, but with God and others too. This blog, and the following questions will help you learn about yourself and come up with gentle ways to grow. I’ll be sharing even more information and examples every other week on a video via facebook live, and will post the videos on this website in case you missed them.

Here’s some questions to get you started:

What was your reaction when you saw the title of the series I’m starting, “Pursuing Healthy Relationships…with God, Yourself and others? How have you seen your sense of self grow over the last 5 years? What are you looking forward to the most in this series? What jumped out to you in this blog post?

I’d love to have you join me on Friday Jan 27th, at 1:00pm pacific time on by visiting my facebook page.  I’ll be talking about establishing a solid sense of self, as well as providing insight into how we formed our view of ourselves to begin with. Mixed throughout will be ways to reconnect to yourself with compassion.

Please leave your comments below, and share via e-mail or social media with those who could benefit.

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12 thoughts on “Pursuing Healthy Relationships #1 ~ A Strong Sense of Self

  1. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BEAUTIFULLY PUT INFORMATION.
    YOU ARE A GOD SEND FOR ME.

    I COULD GO ON AND ON–THANK YOU, GOD BLESS YOU

    1. You are so welcome Sharon. I’m so happy that this information is helpful to you. Take Care…there’s more to come 🙂

  2. Thank you Kim-We all need to understand ourselves, first and foremost, so we are equipped to understand others and have relationships with them. A much needed component is relating to God. Thank you for incorporating all 3 types of relationships–self, God, others.
    Appreciate YOU so much–for all that you are inside :). Beautiful, loving, compassionate. Hugs

  3. Thank you so much Kim! I’m excited to see what you will be sharing on this subject. I’ve grown so much in awareness in these areas in the last two years and as I look forward to continuing this growth your topic and blog could not come at a better time. It’s wonderful to see how God is at work in you, in me and the community. I know I’ll be strengthened and better able to serve. God’s blessing to you!

    1. Charmagne…so glad to hear how much you’ve grown in these areas in the last two years. I’m so glad this series will help you continue your growth and impact n your world. Wonderful…

  4. Really good and helpful. You reinforced something I have been learning… It’s okay if someone I care about gets upset with me. I had long believed that upsetting others was something I could control (prevent). Thanks for the series!

    1. So glad this was helpful. Being able to tolerate someone being upset with us is super important. You’re on the right path!

  5. It is so helpful to have these lists. I can see growth, which is encouraging. I also appreciate seeing in print the areas where I need to grow. The list reminds me that these are good, necessary beliefs and actions. Putting my foot down when disrespected is very hard!

    1. So glad this was helpful Kathy! How encouraging to see the growth in your life. I’m sure that has come from lots of hard work. Keep going, you’re making progress!

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