Mother’s Day is a little over a week away. I’ve got a few hints that will help Mother’s Day go well this year. Mother’s Day is loaded emotionally…often filled with unmet expectations and disappointments. It is also a day that may bring pain for lots of reasons. Rather than ignore it, let’s look at it, and be kind to yourself instead!
If You are a Mom…
I encourage you to “Spell Out Clearly” what you would like to happen that would make this Mother’s Day an enjoyable and meaningful day for you. When we hint at what we need, or even worse don’t share what we need, we will be disappointed, and those who want to honor us will feel like failures.
Let your family know what you’d like: Be specific…here’s some ideas: Dinner out, dinner at home, breakfast in bed, a gift, a nice card with kind words, a picture drawn by a small child, etc. Let your family know what would bless you. Here’s an example, “Mother’s Day is coming up and I’d like it to be a special day for all of us. I’d like to have lunch at home, having you order out from my favorite restaurant. I’d also like a small gift from each of you and a card telling me the ways you appreciate me. This would make my Mother’s Day wonderful. I’d like lots of hugs and kisses too.”
Notice how clear this is. This type of direct approach will help your family honor you in a way that is meaningful to you, and will help them be successful. Otherwise, they will miss doing what you need, and will feel awful and confused about why their attempts to celebrate Mother’s Day was a disaster.
It may be uncomfortable for you to be clear about what would bless you. The alternative — not sharing what you’d like, and hoping others will magically know, is unlikely to happen, and will be painful for all.
If You are a Husband or Child…
Ask the Mom in your life what you could do to make this day special for her…and then do it! Step back and think about things she loves that have brought her joy in the past. If in doubt, do several things to bless her! Mom’s love to get pampered, and especially love to hear what you appreciate about them, and are grateful for. Flowers, candy, and a gift of something she loves won’t hurt either! Bring it up now, rather than waiting until closer to the day. She will feel even more loved when she realizes you are planning ahead of time.
If You are Grieving This Mother’s Day…
Be especially kind and compassionate with yourself. You may be grieving over the loss of your own Mom, a desire to be a Mom that isn’t realized, having painful feelings associated with your Mom, or some other reasons.
Rather than celebrating Mother’s Day, have a special “be nice to myself day.” Think about what would be soothing for you. Is there something you enjoy doing you normally don’t give yourself time to do? Could you ask a few friends to send you a kind note or give you a call? Would you like to get a massage, go on a hike, go to the movies, or get time away with a friend?
Be Creative. Deal with What is Real. Be Kind to Yourself
I’d love to hear from you, please leave a comment below. What is your reaction to this post? How do you respond to my urging to be clear about what would bless you? What’s your plan? I’d love to know. One idea is to forward this to someone in your life, and be positive by saying, “I’d love us to talk about how to make Mother’s Day a blessing to all of us this year.”
Please share this post with anyone you feel could benefit, or on social media. We’re in this together…