Are You Too Hard on Yourself?
Do You Have Trouble Showing Yourself the Same Grace and Understanding You Offer to Others?
Most likely you’ve never been taught to handle being an imperfect human in a healthy way
It’s been two years since my book, Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend was released. What a blessing it has been to publish this book and get to know so many friends all over the world who are pursuing a compassionate relationship with themselves.
You may not know the back story of how I came to publish this book
I didn’t want to. I was a busy counselor and had the privilege of teaching future master’s students to become therapists. I loved what I was doing, I didn’t want to do the hard work to write a book.
But…God kept nudging me to do so
I finally said yes, under duress. I knew how much others needed to learn how to be compassionate with themselves. I also knew how important it was to integrate self-compassion with our faith.
As a counselor, I saw first-hand how hard people were on themselves when they failed, made mistakes, made poor decisions, or couldn’t foresee the future. What they needed was a concrete way to develop a kind and compassionate relationship with themselves. They needed to learn ways to care for and relate to themselves the way God does…with love, grace and truth.
As a counselor, I worked with my clients to be compassionate with themselves as they worked through things in their lives. Over time they grew emotionally, spiritually and relationally. They began to understand themselves, care for themselves, and talk to themselves as they would a good friend who was struggling. This began a life-changing process of turning their inner critic into a compassionate friend.If you’re like most people, sometimes you can be your own worst enemy Click To Tweet
Most of us are used to showing compassion to others, but often have trouble showing that same compassion to ourselves. We often say things to ourselves we would never say to a friend. This lack of compassion and negative self-talk can have a devastating effect on our lives.
Most of us learned to handle our mistakes, sins and mess-ups by doubling down…by trying harder…by being hard on ourselves as a motivator to not mess up again! Sometimes we try to deal with our shortcomings by denying they are even there.
The problem is these strategies don’t work for the long term. No one achieves long lasting growth by being hard on themselves. We might see some short-term success, but in the end our inner critic takes over…holding us to standards we would never apply to others. No one grows by ignoring problems and hoping they’ll go away.
We employ these strategies because we simply don’t know what else to do
We need a way to deal with our faults that doesn’t beat us up or ignore them. We need a way to care for those God has given us, while also caring for ourselves. God knows all of us mess up, make mistakes, sin and do things we regret. This reality is no surprise to Him. He has made a way to reconcile with Him.
We need a way to reconcile with ourselves!
Thanks to all of you for your generous support to me on this journey over the last two years. You have been such a blessing to me. These last two years have been such a blessing to me professionally, and such a devastating time health-wise.
But God knew
He nudged me to write Give Yourself a Break, before I became seriously ill. He prodded me to go to my one and only writers conference where I met the editor who offered me a contract to write this book. This was four months before being diagnosed with breast cancer. It was one year before being diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, a terminal lung disease I got from the chemo and radiation treatment for breast cancer.
I had to close my counseling practice, but God set me up to have a ministry I could have from the comfort of my easy chair. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, hanging onto Jesus. The encouragement from all of you, my family and friends has kept me going, as well as the good relationship I have with myself.
I wanted to celebrate this two year anniversary with you!
If you are struggling with your inner critic, and don’t know how to be a compassionate friend to yourself, it’s not too late. Your life will be so much easier and settled with a compassionate friend on the inside.
Besides my book, I also have 2 recordings that can help you learn how to speak to yourself with kindness & compassion.
Many blessings to you my friends…and Thank You!
I’d love to hear from you!
How have you seen yourself grow in being a compassionate friend to yourself?
Please share on social media or via e-mail with others who might benefit
Click the pictures below to listen to some samples on my two compassionate recordings.