The Story Behind Give Your Kids a Break

The Behind the Scenes Story…

Hello, I wanted to share with you the story of how I came to write Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children. I wasn’t intending to write another book. Four years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and received treatment. Four days after finishing treatment, I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, a terminal lung disease. This complication developed as a rare side effect from the chemotherapy and radiation I received for breast cancer.

It’s Been Rough

As you can imagine, it has been a very rough road, facing a terminal illness while dealing with lots of change, disability and grief. I’m a reality gal, so I began looking at the future, and preparing for all that would come. One of the hard things I had to face was that most likely I wouldn’t be around when my adult children have children of their own. I’ve shed a lot of tears about this as you can imagine. I also thought, “What could I do for them? How could I help them when they become parents? How can I have a positive influence on the lives of my future grandchildren?”

Then God gave me a wonderful idea! I decided to put together all the handouts and notes on my computer from the last twenty years of giving parenting classes. I compiled everything into a book for them, and added fun personal stories. It was a way for me to give them input and advice to help with the challenges of parenting when that time comes.

Being a Parent is Challenging

As I wrote, I decided I really liked how it was turning out, and decided maybe it would help other parents too. I really wanted parents to learn how to be compassionate with themselves as they parent. Being a parent in this day and age is very challenging, no matter what age your children are. Parenting with compassion is a way to treat ourselves with gentleness, as we struggle with the demands of parenting. When we exercise self-compassion, we:

  • Have more love and compassion to give
  • Don’t waste precious energy beating ourselves up
  • Correct mistakes and repair hurts with our children
  • Learn what we don’t know and find solutions

Children Need to Learn to be Kind to Themselves

Children desperately need to learn how to be compassionate with themselves. Click To Tweet

They are constantly learning new things, through trial and error, which involves lots of failure. When kids practice self-compassion, they become more resilient, feel better about themselves, and have a greater ability to handle life’s problems. Give Your Kids a Break is full of parenting tips about challenges every parent faces. Interwoven throughout is faith, and compassion for parents, and kids alike.

I decided to self-publish this book, because going with a publisher would take too long — 1 ½ to 2 years. I wanted to be healthy enough to tell others about it, and share it with the world.

So, my book is a blessing from a really awful situation, which is my illness. I hope it will be helpful to my children and future grandchildren, as well as to many others. Parenting with compassion makes our job as parents easier, and helps you teach your children to be compassionate with themselves as they grow, fail, live life, goof up and go through difficult times.

Here’s a 4-minute video I made to tell the real story behind Give Your Kids a Break.

So now you know the back story about how Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children came to life. I wasn’t planning on writing it, but God nudged me, and it happened! It is available for pre-order now! Thanks for your support and interest. It means a lot to me.

Wanna Help?

If you’d like to be part of my facebook book launch team, please click this link to learn more, and ask to join. Please share this post with anyone you feel could benefit, or on social media.

I’d love to hear from you!

What jumped out at you from this post? When do you need compassion for yourself as a parent the most? When do you see children need compassion the most?

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

6 thoughts on “The Story Behind Give Your Kids a Break

  1. Hi Kim!
    This is wonderful! What an amazing gift you are sharing! Having compassion for ourselves as parents, in a time where we are swimming in a sea of cyber-powered jugdment and information overload, this book is an eternal gift.

    For we cannot give what we do not possess. And if we do not receive the love of God as compassion for our own shortcomings and insecurities, we cannot extend this to our children… who need to learn it if they are to find a measure of peace in their life journey.

    God has indeed gifted you with so much wisdom Kim. I pray for you to experience a tsunami of peace and joy… the fruits of the Spirit against which there is no law.

    Love to you my sweet sister in Christ.

    Joanna

    1. Thanks so much Joanna! I appreciate your encouragement. It was a lot of work! I hope it will help parents be kind to themselves, and teach their children to be compassionate with themselves as well. Thanks so much for taking the time to encourage me 🙂

  2. “What jumped out at you from this post? When do you need compassion for yourself as a parent the most? When do you see children need compassion the most?”

    Kim, it is so, so beautiful how you have turned the worst situation into the best possible! . . . Unbelievably wonderful! ☑ 😊 💕

    I don’t have any children, so my insight would be theoretical, but I can’t help but think that teaching/modeling compassion with children is *the way* to teach it and actually get it to stick. Taking good compassionate care of yourself means the children in your life receive the best of you rather than what is left of you. . . . .And I would think children need the most self-compassion when they are way too hard on themselves. Our inner critic, it seems to me, is the part that needs more self-compassion-love. I would think the self-beatings can only be replaced by the priceless feelings of emotional safety.

    No one modeled much of anything healthy for me growing up, so I have all those critical thoughts and I don’t even try to stop them (because I have found that is simply beating myself up for beating myself up!). . . . . I do the only thing I can, I simply add compassion to the end of the process and try to keep working it backwards so I spend less and less time in the beating phase. A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day.

    I think awakening self-compassion is often the greatest challenge people face on the spiritual path simply because of the way Christianity has been taught historically. . . . The point is people have these attitudes, often from the church and people interpreting the Word-of-God. See, for example, the recent books The Meaning of “Be Ye Perfect” by Gene Edwin Witzky and The Law of Perfection, by C. J. Wood and Who Says You Can’t Be Perfect? by L. R. Ambridge. . . . page 83 “. . . And when Jesus said, ‘Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect’, he was saying that you can be perfect, and he don’t care what anybody else says, and we should believe he meant what he said, and said what he meant. Sometimes it looks like we are ready to believe everybody else except Jesus himself.” . . . .Historically, it is very, very easy to see where these attitudes came from and why people hold them and constantly feel guilty inside. I know I do! How can we love others and have compassion on them when we don’t have it for ourselves, we can’t. How can we love and have compassion for someone for anything but their raw humanity? How can I say that I have compassion and love for someone if it is not for their flaws and quirks, hurts, triggers, tears? Anything else is not love or compassion. It is idealization, I would think. —Thank you Kim!!! 💗 ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ 💗 💖💜. . .

    1. Hi Aleea,

      I always love your very thoughtful and insightful comments! You are right, it is easy to see how those messages can come from well-meaning, but incorrect human authors. You may know this, but the correct translation of the word “perfect” is actually “complete.” Grateful to my Ph.D. Bible answer-man hubby, for explaining that to me 🙂 Loved your beautiful comment, ” Taking good compassionate care of yourself means the children in your life receive the best of you rather than what is left of you. . . . .And I would think children need the most self-compassion when they are way too hard on themselves. Our inner critic, it seems to me, is the part that needs more self-compassion-love. I would think the self-beatings can only be replaced by the priceless feelings of emotional safety.”

      You don’t have to be a parent to have a valuable opinion on this topic. You were a child, and that makes you an expert on what children need, especially with your experience of getting just the opposite. Thanks so much for your comment!

  3. Oh, my sweet friend. For once, I am almost at a loss for words. But, that never lasts very long, so I will try to convey my thoughts on the power of your video to be followed by your amazing book that will bless so many!
    Your faith, courage, compassion for yourself and others and your God-given ability to lovingly teach us valuable lessons and strategies for living are already legendary. I am so excited to hear about this new book, and I look forward to its release. Thank you for choosing to share what you initially meant for your children and future grandchildren with the world.
    You are a blessings of the most precious kind.
    You are loved, you know!

    1. Thank you Ann…you are always such a blessing to me. Isn’t it good of God to turn something awful into a blessing? I think that’s His specialty! Appreciate your continual love and support dear one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *