Wisdom to Your Younger Self

http://kimfredrickson.com/2018/03/14/wisdom-to-your-younger-self

I was recently asked to share what I would say to my younger self, knowing what I know now about living life. I’m grateful to Jeanette Schneider at loreandlittlethings.com to allow me to share with her readers.

I thought it might be helpful for all of us to think about. All of us have gone through lots of good and bad times. We’ve learned a lot about what matters and what doesn’t. Life has taught us what to spend time on, and what to let go.

Difficulties have helped us find ways to cope, and ways that don’t work. So think about it. Click To Tweet

What type of wisdom would you like to share with your younger self?

Below is my letter. I chose to share encouragement about a number of topics. I’m sure there are some topics I left out. Doing this letter was soothing for me. It helped me crystallize my values and what I’ve learned over these last 61 years. It was also a way of being compassionate and soothing to myself.

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http://kimfredrickson.com/2018/03/14/wisdom-to-your-younger-self
Kim age 6, graduation from kindergarten

Dear Kimmy,

You are a precious little girl. You have such a bright future ahead of you. You are likable, delightful and have a very kind heart. You are smart, hard-working and a very good friend.

You have many wonderful experiences ahead of you, enjoying life and making an impact on your world. You also have some hard times ahead, just like we all do. I’d like to encourage you to spend your time and energy on things that matter and will help you on the road ahead.

Have Fun!

Enjoy life. Do things that you enjoy, energize you and give your life. Try new things, seek out new experiences, and enjoy each day to the fullest!

Draw Close to God

God loves you and will be by your side no matter what. He created you uniquely, and He is so proud of you. Take time to get to learn about Him in the Bible, and through prayer. No matter what happens in your life, you can draw near to Him. He will help you and never leave you, no matter what.

Cultivate Your Friendships

Your friends will be a second family to you, and they will be your lifeline through thick and thin. You will have many fun and meaningful experiences with them, that will fill your heart over your lifetime. You will have struggles and misunderstandings with some friends which is normal. Do all you can to talk things through, and apologize for your part of the problem. If you feel repeatedly harmed by a friend, despite trying to work things out, you may need to say goodbye to that friendship. This is normal. Some friendships are for a season, and some for a lifetime.

Work Hard

You are very bright, and catch on quickly. Work hard at school and your future jobs. The sky is the limit for you. There will be times you will feel like a challenge is too big for you. It isn’t. Take it one piece at a time, and you will grow and succeed. The world needs what you have to offer. God has given you abilities, a compassionate heart, and a message that He wants you to share.

Work Through Your Emotions

You will go through difficult times, and have many confusing emotions. This is normal. Seek help to process your emotions, regulate them, and learn to soothe yourself when you are distressed. These skills will help you make wise decisions and stay connected to yourself. Friends, family, books and counselors can be great resources to help you work through the normal emotions of life. Don’t hesitate to get help when you need it.

Face into Conflict

It can be scary and difficult to deal with conflict. That’s normal. The reality is that every relationship, job and friendship will have conflicts. Learn what you think, feel and need, and share with others in ways that don’t harm you or the other person. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable during these conversations. You can work through conflict most of the time. Learn to negotiate, and stand up for yourself. You don’t deserve abuse, and can remove yourself from situations and relationships that are harming you.

Grieve Well

You may be surprised to find out that grief can be your best friend. It is God’s answer to processing loss, pain, and disappointment. You may be afraid of these intense feelings and can’t believe they are good. I know. But they are. God is an expert at grief and transitions, and He completely understands. He doesn’t expect you to have your grief processed within a certain amount of time. He is faithful to love you through difficult times.

Being able to grieve throughout your life will be a big part of getting through difficult times. Grieving difficult times will help you feel the emotions, adjust to reality, and eventually adjust to your new normal. Even with times of loss, there are still wonderful times to come.

Learn How to Forgive

Life is full of well-meaning imperfect people who will hurt you, and whom you will hurt. Work through the pain of what has happened, grieve what you are going through and seek comfort and help as needed. Learn how to forgive yourself and others. Lack of forgiveness will keep you stuck in the past and will keep you imprisoned in your pain. You’ll need to learn to forgive yourself too. It’s normal to make mistakes and hurt others and yourself in the process. You can be a good friend to yourself by forgiving yourself for being human.

Be Your Own Best Friend

The way you treat yourself has more impact on you than any other relationship in your life. Learn how to treat yourself with kindness, as you would a dear friend. Don’t allow an inner critic to be your companion. Learn how to acknowledge your mistakes without beating yourself up. Listen to your instincts and speak out about things that are important to you.

In conclusion, you are a delight! You are a precious creation with so much of life ahead of you. I know you, I know what you are made of, and I know your kind and tender heart. I hold you close to my heart, and encourage you to hold you close to yourself too.

Love Always,

Kim

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I’d love to hear from you!

What was it like to read my letter? What areas would you like to write to your younger self? What is the most important thing you’d like to tell her? What are ways you could include compassion and understanding as you write this letter?

Please leave a comment below and share with those who could benefit via e-mail or on social media.

If you resonated with my article, please subscribe to my blog. You will get a free copy of Top Ten Ways to Be Your Own Compassionate Friend, which will enrich and improve your life!

8 thoughts on “Wisdom to Your Younger Self

  1. What an interesting assignment! I thoroughly enjoyed reading what your wrote to your younger self. No wonder you have been able to share so much compassion and wisdom to others in you career that continues on this blog! Maybe at some point in the future I will sit down and attempt to do this for myself. I will add it to my bucket list!
    With love and ongoing prayers…..

    1. Thanks so much Ann. I hope you do this for yourself. Start by just writing down the areas you’d want included, and jot a few ideas. That’s how I did mine. At first it was daunting, but breaking it down into smaller pieces helped a lot. Thanks so much for your continuing love and prayers my friend.

  2. Kim, I am so thankful I found you and your wise words. God Himself knew I needed you and I know He led me to you. I learned of you through listening to a podcast on the God Centered Mom and now I’ve been reading your blog entries. When I began listening to the podcast and heard that you had Pulmonary Fibrosis, I came very close to just clicking off of it because I didn’t think I could handle it. I’m so glad I didn’t. A couple years ago I found out (very unexpectedly) that I have a rare autoimmune disease called scleroderma. It has the highest mortality rate in the rheumatological disease category and one of its complications can be PF. I already have severe GERD, which is another one of its complications. I have no idea if PF will happen to me, but every time I am short of breath (I struggle with anxiety now), I think “This is it, here we go.” I am married and have a six and nine year old. I love them so much! I have spent the last couple years gripped with fear about what might happen and as a result, I have been very hard on myself and everyone around me. There are days where I am able to receive God’s help and truth in this and get my head and heart right with it. But mostly, I feel ashamed of how these fears have affected me and I have felt so helpless all while knowing I should not be wasting any time. It feels like a lot of pressure and on top of that, I have those tough days that autoimmunity can cause where I am just struggling in general. I hope I am not being insensitive to share this with you while you are in the thick of it. I just really wanted to tell you that I am blown away by the peace and calm and beauty that radiates from you and your words. I am inspired by you and I know God is going to use your wisdom to help me as a person and as a wife and mom.

    1. Dear Rachel,
      Thanks so much for your comment. I’m so glad that God connected us through the guest podcast. I can see what a shock it was to hear that I have PF, a disease you fear you may get. I’m so sorry for your diagnosis of scleroderma. That is so scary, especially knowing you have small children. That adds a whole new dimension for sure. I really struggled with my diagnosis big time for at least two years. It’s normal to take time to adjust to something so shocking and difficult. You aren’t insensitive at all for sharing your journey. We share a knowing about how hard this is that others cannot. I’m so glad that my interview was helpful to you, and I am happy to help if I can. Be kind to yourself. You are dealing with a lot, and it is normal to struggle. Many blessings to you.

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