Do you ever wonder if it’s okay to have needs? What is selfish and what is OK? I was interviewed by Jodie Stevens of 103.9 THE FISH about this important question.
YES…it is absolutely OK to have needs, and in fact is actually healthy because God placed those needs inside of us…they are God given.
The reality is that we are born with emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual needs….they aren’t a mistake, God designed us this way.
It’s easy to be confused about this:
If your needs weren’t met to a good enough level, you may come to see needs as bad or wrong, and not know how to meet them in healthy ways.
We may have also received teaching that it is wrong to have needs…which is incorrect. Jesus responded to His and others’ needs directly – He helped those who needed help, and did not shame them for having needs. He also regularly took care of His own needs. We may have been told that God will meet all of our needs and we don’t have to pay attention to our needs. This leaves out a central teaching in the Bible that God has made us stewards of ourselves, our families and our world, and He wants us to be active in taking care of all He has given us…including our needs.
Not wanting to be selfish:Being selfish means you are only considering your needs without considering the needs of others. Click To Tweet
God wants us to be balanced as we care for our needs as well as the needs of others…all the while listening to His leading.
The paradox is this…when we don’t pay attention to our needs and seek healthy ways to meet them, we actually do become selfish because we put the responsibility of meeting them on other people. The needs don’t just go away…they just get transferred onto other people to meet them.
Where to start
Be compassionate with yourself about this topic, maybe by saying something to yourself like, “How wonderful to find out that my needs are God-given and are something God wants me to pay attention to. I will start noticing what physical, spiritual, emotional and relational needs could use some attention. I’m realizing that being a healthy adult means responding to my needs in balanced ways.”
You can listen to my interview with Jodie below:
I’d love to hear from you!
What jumped out at you from this post? Do you struggle with feeling like your needs are okay? What would it be like to talk to yourself about your needs with compassion?
Please leave a comment below and share with those who could benefit via e-mail or on social media.